A Mother of Sorts

Okay, I might not be a biological mother but that doesn’t mean I haven’t loved and taken care of others as if they weren’t my own blood.  Over the years I have “mothered” many.  Heck, my title while working with pregnant teens in the states was “House Mother”.  Right now, I am the proud “mother” of 6 Acholi young ladies who attend the school I’m partnered with.

Never before had I been so proud of my girls.  This last week was spent at Peace Camp, an initiative to peacefully bring together different tribes affected by the 21+ years of insurgency brought forth by the Lord’s Resistance Army.  Out of the 80 youth attending, my girls were simply the most amazing.  The 6 of them were the most attentive, accepting, helpful, active, and brilliant youth if I might say.  They even learned basic sign language in a day to communicate to the 4 youth who were hearing impaired. 

They rocked my world.  I knew the week would be difficult for them.  If they are a student at my school, they surely have a story to be told.  Even though the week might be emotionally difficult, I also knew this was an opportunity of a lifetime to gain knowledge, strength, and support from one another which was too much to pass up.  These young women, ages 15 through 17, are the leaders of our Peace Club at the school and leaders at our school in general. 

There was much to be learned.  The camp was executed wonderfully with staffs passionate about working with youth and mature youth who were passionate about gaining knowledge and skills.  Each day was focused on different topics such as peaceful living, positive communication, forgiveness and reconciliation, and a peaceful future.

Although I am proud of all my girls, I might be even slightly prouder of Sharon, Pamela, and Monica.  “Aha” moments were had about facing our pain, forgiveness, and passionate leadership. 

Sharon was especially eager to attend Peace Camp.  All but one of the girls had been chosen to attend Camp GLOW the previous December which fell through.  Sharon had been the one to daily ask me what she needed to do, ask if I heard back about nomination acceptance.  Each time, her eyes were huge and she wouldn’t breathe until I answered.  Needless to say, she was rather excited about the week.

Sharon has a sweet heart and put extra effort towards getting to know the hearing impaired students and making them feel part of the group.   While practicing Acholi traditional dancing the first day, her head bobbed with expertise and enthusiasm. 

During a logistical meeting the second night, I saw that same head walking across the dark compound and knew something was wrong.  All day, Sharon had been happy meeting new people and enjoying the opening ceremony.  After dinner, the youth watched the film War Dance which was filmed in 2005 and is a true story which took place about an hour from our school. 

The film follows the stories of three students affected by the war in different ways.  Hearing their stories at the beginning of the film is difficult since the atrocities that they either had to partake or saw are horrific.  The film is a story of redemption—you just have to make it through the first part of sadness.

While seated with the logistical staff on the other side of the compound, I heard the deep crying coming from the film.  This scene gets me every time.  The girl’s father was killed by LRA rebels and this was the first time the girl had visited the ground where his body laid.  She goes with her mother who at one point tells her to be quiet otherwise the rebels might hear her crying.  She lies on the grave, her father’s body underneath, and you can feel the deep sorrow she bears.  I might tear up a little bit each time I watch this scene.

I knew this week wouldn’t be easy for my girls.  As soon as I saw Sharon across the compound, the logistical meeting was over for me.  I walked over to find Sharon deeply disturbed. 

“Ah, Sandi, the film is not good.  It is not good,” said with a shake of her head while looking at the floor.

We talked for a bit outside the large room where everyone else was seated.  The scene of the girl mourning her father’s murder struck a chord with Sharon.  I don’t ask invasive questions.  I held her hand and said how the film gets better.  That there is hope for the girl.  I asked if it would be okay if I sat with her until the end.  We walk back into the room, hand in hand, and sat on the reed mat.

For the next hour, with legs which fell asleep multiple times, we sat there.  My hand physically touching her the whole time to remind her I was there for her and to help with not reverting to a hazy daze of the past. 

After a traumatic experience, anything that could represent or be associated with the event is a possible trigger which can revert the person back into the mental state of the actual event.  Even though the event happened in the past, the same feelings of fear or sadness can be felt full force.  When we are presented with a trigger, our guts begin to tighten and we want to escape.  Right after an event, this is extremely overwhelming and anxiety ridden.  After time and hopefully counseling, at some point we have to face those triggers. 

With support from friends, family, professionals, we can face the pain and not let it control our lives.  The journey physically hurts our chest but with the right support, we can carry on.

Sharon carried on.  By holding her hand, asking questions about the film, she stayed in the moment and her appearance lightened.

I couldn’t let Sharon leave the film at the lowest point.  I couldn’t let her give up when things became difficult to face. So, I sat beside her and let her know she wasn’t alone.  By the end of the film, Sharon was smiling again.  I later asked her what she thought of the film.

“Watching the film was not easy but I’m glad to have watched the ending where everyone was happy.”

I had a “group meeting” with my 6 girls before they went to bed.  I wanted to make sure they were okay or if they needed to talk, to give them the chance to speak.  They were all excited about their new friends and the new songs and games they were learning.  They promised to take care of each other and also to take care of the other female campers.  After a group hug, they finished preparing for bed and went to sleep.

Monday was the first full day with all the campers.  Rafiki Theater, a drama group from Kampala, performed and facilitated conversations with the campers.  The main topics were domestic violence and bullying.

I have to admit, parts of the drama made me uneasy.  Uganda is a very male dominated society where a wife is expected to produce children and tend to her husband’s every need without a will of her own.  In the drama, there were two married couples and at one point, the husband came home drunk, unhappy with his wife’s desire to continue her studies.  Although there was no physical contact of actual hitting, their tone, facial expressions, and then the despair in the woman’s face as her husband beat and then raped her was a bit overwhelming.

This was rather mature material for an audience of 15-19 year olds.  Then again, early marriages of 15 year old girls, especially in the village, are common.  They don’t have the choice of education.  They don’t have the choice of who they marry.  They are told what to do and how to do it and are married off so their family will gain wealth or materials through the bride price.  I can’t imagine growing up in such a society where women are a commodity to be traded with the purpose to basically be a slave to whatever man is in charge.

During the discussion afterwards, the question was asked why women didn’t stand up to their husbands.

“I believe it is because we have low self-esteem,” stated by my one and only— Sharon.

During the previous school year, we spent time focused on personal awareness and self esteem.   Self-awareness is the knowledge and understanding of who we are, our potential, our feelings and emotions, where we are in life, and our strengths and weakness.  By having a clear sense of “who I am”, we have more potential to live the desired healthy, positive lifestyle.

Self-Esteem refers to how an individual feels about such personal aspects as appearance, abilities and behavior and grows on the basis of their experiences of being competent and successful in what they attempt.  Poor self-esteem has an individual feeling defeated and unable to live the life they desire.

For Sharon to say that women don’t speak out because of low self esteem may seem very simple to a westerner, but to these who have had their whole lives destroyed and controlled by others, this statement is huge.  These are youth who have been abused and violated, who have been told they are worthless killers, and have been rejected by their families and society.

Lately, I’ve been thinking that as humans, we have 3 basic requests—to be loved by others, to be regarded as good natured and valued, and to be beautiful and desired.  With traumatic experiences, these basic desires are shattered.  The person who has wronged us has betrayed us and disrespected our bodies, to some degree we self blame for doing something bad that lead to the event being our fault and in many societies we are seen as “spoiled” or worthless, and we view our bodies as ugly and undesirable. 

The truth is that no matter our past, we are still loveable and there are respectable individuals who won’t take advantage of us.   Even though bad events have happened in our past, tragedy does not define us.  Our souls are still good and we are valuable members of society.  Each of us is a beautiful being who is desired for the love, the acceptance, and knowledge we carry.  We cannot let what we had no control of in the past determine who we are now and our futures to come.

At my school, I work with girls who have lived through traumatic experiences, shattering their self-esteem.  In class, we talked about what influences our self-esteem and how who we are surrounded by is a large factor.  If a mother daily tells her daughter “Anyaka marach, amaro pe, maleng pe” which translates to something of “girl, you are bad, I don’t love you, you are not beautiful” and then hits the girl, she will most likely have poor self esteem. 

If a mother daily tells her daughter “anyaka maber, amaro anyaka, tye maleng” meaning “girl, you are good, I love you girl, you are beautiful” with a hug and warm smile, she will most likely grow up with good self-esteem. 

We need to support each other, to tell each other that we are good, loved and beautiful.  The more we hear this, the more we internalize these beliefs, the more we will be able to face the struggles of life. 

Sharon’s father may have died while she was still very young.  She may have never heard him say that he loved her, that she was beautiful, or that he was proud of her.  Often, the people who are supposed to fill those key roles are absent or unable to provide the emotional support needed.  For this reason, I “adopt” these girls and try to be the best “mother” I can be.

When I pretended to be a mother saying “anyaka maber, amaro anyaka, tye maleng” in class, the girls started hooting and hollering because they thought it was rather humorous that the white girl was learning their language.  I swear to this day a year later, students still greet me with “Anyaka maleng, amaro anyaka.”  I smile each and every time.

I never really know what the students understand from class or if what I try to teach is going in one ear and out the other.  Today, I realized that the lessons hadn’t fallen on deaf ears.  When Sharon answered the question about self esteem, I knew I had played a part in her understanding of the concept.  Hopefully, I had played a part of improving her self esteem as well.

I may not have any biological children, but I was proud of my girl Sharon.

At the end of the day, I smiled a very proud “mother” smile.

Slash and Sweep

Peace is especially important in the North.  After 21+ years of insurgency, communities are wanting to get back to normal.  Different methods have been used to promote peace including peace clubs and service activities which promote looking towards a better tomorrow and ownership of the community.

The Peace Club at PGA completed service work in the community on July 13th.  Earlier in the year, they went to the Health Center to clean and this time they went to the Market.  After slashing overgrown bushes and sweeping dirt and trash, they performed the Bwola Dance.  A few local leaders and NGO workers spoke in between dances.  At the end, the young girls were exhausted, replenished their energy with glucose biscuits and pop, and went back to the school compound.  Here are some photos from the day…

Morning Mixture, Mocha or Millet?

This morning, I was excited to use my stove top espresso maker and add some mocha mixture to the taste.  I grabbed a plastic container, scooped out a spoonful, and gleefully added it to the mug.  I kept stirring, but the mixture didn’t seem to dissolve.  Once finished with the first cup, I boiled extra water to see if it would then.  No luck.  It still didn’t taste right.  And then I remembered that I had two plastic containers that look like this:

One is used as an additive to make a mocha, the other, to make millet porridge which is a brown grainy porridge.  They look alike, right?  But taste so different…

I used:

Instead of:

Needless to say, hopefully there won’t be any more mix ups.

Newbies and Fishies

At PGA, we like to celebrate and to learn on the road. The first few photos are from a newcomers welcoming ceremony.  We took the Secondary 4 students for a field day to a fishing village and then to a rock quarry.   Guess what we had for lunch?  Fish of course!  

Interruption

God is seeking to “interrupt” your life and reveal to you a journey that will set everything in your world, all of your planets of purpose in orbit.  Sometimes, he will lead us down a path, to a job, into a life of someone or someone into our life – and the pause in the time we so loosely label an “interruption” actually changes everything. And to those attuned to recognize it and who have the understanding to interpret, it is the combustible element that activates the great love of God, he is trying so desperately to show.

Damon S. Davis, CEO of Legacy Group Global

“Journey to the Heart of Darkness”

Usually, we hope that these “interruptions” are positive making us do a little jig.  I like those kinds.  Occasionally, that isn’t the case though and they make us rather puzzled and quiet.  We question why the “interruption” had to occur and how on earth it could play a part in the purpose of our lives.  But it can and does.

When we are filled with excitement about life and all the jigsaw pieces seem to fit, sometimes there comes an “interruption” that turns our world upside down making it seem broken and impossible to put back together.  Heck, sometimes different unrelated “interruptions” occur at the same time and we really start to wonder what is going on.

Sometimes it’s a Godsend joyous path and sometimes it’s our own stupidity mixed with bad company down a path we later wish we’d avoided.

Either way, God wants to wrap us in his love whether we are laughing or crying, or a little of both at the same time.  He knows we will make it even when we are tired.  If we trust him from the bottom of our hearts and stop trying to figure everything out with our simple minds, then we are able to sit back and see what God is able to do through us.

Oh, life…

I’ve decided PC sends Africa volunteers to DC for a few reasons: 1-Joint or specialized physical reasons. 2- Wacky vacs for those who go crazy on Mefloquine. OR  3- If something really, really bad happens and they need to take you out of a certain environment for awhile.

To say the least, there was quite the “interruption” in my life back in November.  Not a good one either—  pretty serious actually with many parties involved.  One that has turned out to be super complex and confusing.  One that I can’t even say the details to my mother.  (Sorry mom.  I know you love me and am thankful for your prayers.  Someday when this is all resolved, I promise to be honest and explain.)

Somehow, I have to believe this is in God’s plan of purpose for my life.  I have to recognize the fact that I have chosen a life not of complacency and there are certain… certain… joys and surprises yet also challenges and hardships.  The last couple of years living overseas have seemed to be in extremes.  I’m very thankful for the good times and pray extra hard during the others, like now.

I may not fully understand the meaning or the purpose right away of this “interruption”, but in due time it will all play out.  Already, I can see where good will happen and how this has changed my outlook of life in an almost positive manner.  What I have experienced and learned will not only propel God’s purpose for my life but will also help others worldwide.  Seriously.  Wait and see.

I can’t tell details.  There is way too much going on right now that needs to be resolved first.  For those who might be worried, don’t be.  I have a great professional team who is doing quality work and I am getting needed support.

What I can say is that if you are the praying type; please pray for God’s wisdom for all who are involved and justice to be done.  If you aren’t really the praying type, if you could please send some happy thoughts this way and be extra kind to someone near you today, I would very much appreciate it.

The next couple of weeks are very crucial.  It’s an exciting time yet scary like Giardia poo.

God has definitely put me on an interesting journey.  Soon enough, I’ll be doing a happy little jig and all will be on its way to… to… I would say normality but my life is anywhere but there.  I’m praying for an awesome “interruption” that will change my life in a positive intense way.  *Crossing my fingers*

In the meantime, I put trust from the deepest parts of my heart in God and his ability to understand the complexities my simple mind can’t.  It’s definitely not easy, but a life worth living never is…

Back into the swing of Pader

The school year has begun and it’s good to be getting back into the swing of a routine.  Pader is ever so dusty, windy, and plain hot (which are all characteristics that I’m not overly fond of) but this is my Ugandan home.  The last few months have been long and treacherous yet coming back and seeing my neighbors, the Ayago ladies, people in the community, students and coworkers has been awesome.

The first night I was back at site, I went to each of my neighbor’s doors in the compound to say hello.  At 7pm, most people are home watching TV and cooking.  I took over the mixed nuts Tracy had asked for, talked toddler to Crysabella as she said “Welcome back, Auntie” in her cute way, knocked on Anthony’s door and Grace answered greeting me with a hug (after she got over the shock that I was back).  She invited me in for dinner and sitting there with a small group eating dinner was great.  I was back with Pader family and I had missed them.

Ayago ladies… they are hilarious.  Dorcus screamed “Cindy!!!” and I thought she was going to take off my head during her hug with her excitement (although it didn’t have the same form as an airplane hug).  Ah, these ladies.  They think it’s hilarious to have me order in Luo and try to get me to eat the cow insides or something.  When I started stirring the posho, they cracked up to see a white girl having to use her muscles (the stuff is seriously thick and hard to stir once it starts to form).

Omara, who is maybe 4, and his mother moved to live behind the restaurant in the strip of single rooms to the left.  Now, when I go behind to see the cooks and joke around, I get to see their lovely faces and tickle Omara.  He laughs as if he’s going to die. 

There was a monkey back there the other day, I tried to get Omara to sit with me and the monkey as we took a picture but it slapped Omara in the face.  I’m laughing hysterically at this right now and I know it’s wrong. He was so scared of the tiny monkey and when he tried to sit with me, the monkey hit him.

 Whenever I try to walk to my site mate Katherine’s house, the walk usually takes anywhere from 5-10 minutes longer than a straight shot would take.  I kinda like how here, if you see someone you know, you stop and chat for a bit.  Since I hadn’t seen people in such a long time, there were a lot of “Happy New Year” and talk of the holidays.  Josephine saved me a basket that I had been looking for, Proscovia has helped me find chairs, Jennifer and I have gone “grocery” shopping AND I got to see her son Obama.  Ya, that’s right.  He was born during the American elections and he’s pretty awesome.  I guess I like the fact that I live in a small town (more of a village) where I run into people and we go about living our lives together.  I’m not a stranger to them and I really missed our crazy interactions.

It’s interesting leaving for some time and then coming back and not knowing what to expect.  I’ve moved around a lot in my life, sometimes with very short notice to my friends, and I get a weird feeling going back to somewhere I haven’t been in a long time.  I of course missed the students and teachers, but with the influx of ex-pats and short lived relationships with all of them, I wasn’t sure if the relationships that were built the year before would be strengthened or they would expect me to leave without notice. 

I think the relationships were strengthened.  They saw that I came back and accepted me as one of them.  At the gate, the new guard asked me to sign the book which I kinda laughed at since he had never seen me before.  I work here.  I belong here.  One of the students came up and we walked the rest of the way into the school grounds.

Speaking of crazy interactions earlier… the Pader Girls Academy students in their high pitch voices greeted me with “Cindy!  Amaro Cindy!  Cindy Maleng! Apwoyo dwogo Cindy!” I’m pretty sure they will never forget the lesson we had about self-esteem and the influence of others saying they love us, we are beautiful, and they are happy we are around.  I smile as I walk across the courtyard hearing my name 30 times in 25 different directions.  I love these girls.  We haven’t started our psychosocial classes yet but I’m expecting them to be pretty great.   

There were a couple of students and teachers that I had more one-on-one conversations.  They were seriously worried I wasn’t going to come back after having to leave unexpectedly in November.  They were relieved to see me back and ready to get working. 

Brenda, the tailoring teacher, and I were working on Maleng Designs last term and I was excited to work on it more.  The director of the organization said I worked a lot faster than people were used to here.  I told Brenda how if she feels like I’m pushing her or am trying to go too fast, to let me know.   She said how we were two months behind and needed to get a move on it.  I love her attitude.  I found a book back in the states with 101 tailoring projects that use 1 yard of fabric and gave it to her.  Every day, I see a new lady picking out a different handbag or baby item they want her to make.  Probably one of the best purchases brought back to Uganda.  Slowly, this tailoring project will come together.

Last term, I obtained 5 boxes from Books for Africa to bring to the school.  There really isn’t a reading culture or much value placed in literature in this area.  George/Vincent, the teacher that I have been working with about the library, is on paternity leave for the next couple of weeks.  Elvina, who is kinda taking his place for the time being, was even more eager to look in the boxes and see what goodies lay within.  Elvina, Donna, Brenda, and I went to the container where they were being stored and took the boxes where the rest of the books are being stored for the time being. 

Each one of grabbed a box and wrote down the titles and authors of all the books.  I thought it was going to be like pulling out teeth to get them organized, but then I saw the teachers super excited to read the titles and wanting to finish so they borrow a few.  There were 282 books in all, ranging from children’s books such as Where the Wild Things Are, A Long Way Gone (the first book I read about the horrors of being a child soldier), and books by John Grisham.  I’m foreseeing a week in class teaching about proper book care, the varieties of books out there, and the value of reading and exploring the world of imagination.  Hopefully, their creativity and English will improve.  Plus, the children’s books will be sweet for the girls with babies to read to their kiddos. 

There is a lot going on to keep me busy.  John, my former counterpart at FRO, asked if I would be willing to teach guitar lessons once a week over there and I know there are teachers and students at PGA who want to learn.  I personally want to start taking sewing lessons- learning on a machine where there is a manual foot thing to make it go is rather different than a common electric sewing machine but I’m up to the challenge. 

My house has gotten sweeter since I returned.  I brought back an espresso maker that is used on the stove top making mornings so much brighter.  I have all sorts of cheesy/alfredo/random sauce packets that are switching it up from the usual pasta with onions and tomato and sometimes eggplant or green pepper sauce. 

I finally went out and had a carpenter build a table to put in my first room.  Sitting at it right now and I must say I like not having to type with the laptop on my knees.  I also bought a couple of lawn chairs so now I don’t have to sit on a mat or on my bed to watch Glee or Chuck.  Life keeps getting better.

It’s weird to think that my training group has been in Uganda over a year and a half now.  From talking to former PCVs back in the states, six months left is the point that most people start putting out resumes for the next step in life.  We start leaving in September.  Crazy to think how close that sort of is now compared to when we were first in country and the line was “we’ve been here 3 months!  That’s so much longer than the short term 2 weekers!”  And now we all feel old.

But it’s a good old, or better termed as old-er feeling.  With age comes wisdom, being realistic rather than idealistic, experiences that only come after not being afraid to live. 

I turned 24 in India, 25 in Uganda, and although I had hoped to keep the streak of different countries going, tomorrow I will celebrate my escape from the womb 26 years ago in Pader because of possible dangers caused by presidential elections.

 I won’t be able to celebrate in Kenya or Rwanda, but that’s okay.  I’ll be with my Ugandan family of close neighbors, community members, fellow teachers, and silly students.

Peace Corps: What to Pack?

Even before getting the invite to be a Youth Development Volunteer in Uganda for 27 months, I was creating a list of what take with me.  A missions trip for 2 weeks is very different than moving to a new country for 2 years.  While in India four months, I made a list of items that I knew I would want for Peace Corps.  Of course, to each their own on what they want to bring but these were the items I put value into putting into my carryon/laptop backpack, large hiking backpack, and more of a duffel luggage…

Carryon:

• Passport *a
• Passport photos
• Vaccine certificate
• ID Card
• Debit Card
• Cash
• Glasses *b
• Laptop
• flash drive
• External Hard drive *c
• Camera- point and shoot
• Camera- SLR
• Chargers
• Memory cards
• IPod and speakers *d
• Alarm clock, small travel
• Pills, daily vitamins *e
• Earplugs
• Travel shower stuff
• Gum
• Burts chapstick (5)
• Photos of home*f
• Journal
• Hand sanitizer*g
• Snacks

 

Main Bag

Clothing:

• Bras
  • 1 Strapless
  • 1 Sport
  • 2 normal
• 20 underwear*h
• 3 socks *i
• 1 Swimsuit *j
• 1 slip
• Under tanks
  • 6 longer, variety of colors
• 3 T-shirts (fitted)
• 3 T-shirts (loose cotton) *k
• 8 Nice Shirts *l
• 1 Long sleeve shirt *m
• 1 Hoodie
• 1 Longish Athletic Shorts
• 2 Jeans *n
• 2 Dress Pants
• 2 Capris
• 3 Skirts
• 3 Pajama bottoms *o
• 2 Bandana *p
• Belt- brown/black
• Rain gear *q
• Laundry clothe bag

Shoes:*r

• Chacos
• Flip flops
• Hippie shoes
• Cross trainers
• Brown sandals
• Dress shoes?

Bathroom: *s

• Electric Toothbrush/ replacements *t
• Toothpaste
• loofa
• Razor
• Shaving gel
• Towel/3 washcloths
• Face wash
• Toner/pads
• Moisturizer
• Deodorant
• Lotion
• Tweezers
• Q-tips
• Brush
• Nail polish *u
• Emery boards
• Diva Cup/tampons *v
• Hair ties
• Bobby pins*w
• Mirror *x
• Makeup *y
• Jewelry *z
• Meds/Vitamins
• Mini Facial tissue
• First aid stuff
• Sleeping mask
• Baby powder

Office: *A

• Large notebook
• Small notebook
• 3 hole punch
• Batteries
• Calendar
• Scissors
• Tiny stapler
• Scotch tape
• Envelopes
• Duct tape
• Sharpies
• Pens
• Note cards
• Map of Uganda
• Wall socket adapter

Games: *B

• Cards
• Phase 10
• dice

Books: *C

• Bible
• Black Prayer journal
• East Africa lonely planet
• 5 books to trade

Misc: *D

• Flashlight
• Headlamp
• Sleeping bag/pad
• Umbrella
• Luggage locks
• Sheets/pillowcase
• Jump rope

Kitchen: *E

• Travel mug
• Nalgene
• French Press
• Bottle opener
• Veg peeler
• Swiss army knife
• Measuring cups/spoons
• Spoon holder
• Plastic spatula
• Tupperware
• Ziploc bags
• Zip ties

Food: *F

• Mac and cheese
• Pasta sauce mix
• Soup mixes
• Taco seasoning
• Tea
• Coffe
• Drink mix
• Granola bars
• Dried fruit
• Nuts
• Parmesan cheese

  

*a- PASSPORT- Passport holder that holds other items such as your WHO card, ID, are really handy.  I found mine on Etsy.com and its super cute.

*b- GLASSES/CONTACTS- I never needed glasses or contacts before I got my eyes checked for PC.  I only brought glasses not knowing my living conditions.  When I went home after 16 months in country, I decided to try out contacts.  Now, I can wear sunglasses, it’s easier to use my SLR camera, and I’m not scared my glasses are going to fling off my face since they’ve loosened up so much since coming to country.  I like my contacts.  I brought back 2 things of solution and can get more in country.  More expensive to buy it here but traveling with lots of liquids isn’t the best idea

*c- HARD DRIVE- I took a 360 gig with me as a backup… it died.  I bought a 500gig in country for roughly $125USD to replace it.  Peace Corps gatherings are a great place to share movies and TV shows with other volunteers.  Having a smaller hard drive for important documents and backup and then one for media is an option.

*d- IPod SPEAKERS- IHome speakers can be found at Best Buy and are awesome.  We’ve used them for movie nights at training and they are really small and compact.  Mine are in the shape of a pill when put together.  I don’t go anywhere without them.  Since they are charged by a USB and last for hours upon hours, they were one of my wisest purchases.

*e- VITAMINS/PILLS- Different countries differ on what vitamins they will give volunteers.  Guys and girls get multivitamins meant for pregnant women.  Medical kits have all the basic pain medicine and bandages that are needed.  I could have brought less of my own and would have been fine.

*f- PHOTO ALBUM-Having a handy album that holds 20-30 photos of home is an easy way to show new host country national friends what America is like… just make sure the photos are somewhat appropriate if the culture is super conservative.

*g- HAND SANITIZER- I still see some people constantly using this.  Me?  Nope.  There’s soap.  Can’t be a germaphob when you live in a village.  Well, you can but you’ll probably go crazy.

*h-UNDERWEAR-  Bringing a lot means you don’t have to hand wash them as often, but then your knuckles start hurting towards the end.  Some people have kept new pairs in a zip lock bag and brought them out halfway through service.  Don’t bring unmentionables that will fall apart.  When you ask your mom to send you new ones, be specific.  The key is to be comfortable yet it’s a great feeling to wear cute ones even when no one else is going to see them.

*i- SOCKS- I seriously wear my Chaco’s or other sandals every day.  I only wear shoes to work out in.  3 pairs of socks is plenty for me.

*j- SWIMSUIT- I brought the one I used to lifeguard in as well as a 2 piece.  I rarely have the opportunity to swim whereas other volunteers have pools practically in their backyards. 

*k- T-SHIRTS- I’ve gained so many t-shirts since being here.  We have our PCUganda shirts, free shirts because I attended a workshop, they keep coming.  I have too many in my opinion.

*l- NICE SHIRTS- Let them be cute.  Let them be comfortable and slightly conservative.  You shouldn’t have to change your style all that much- just readjust it a little.  Quality matters since they will be hand washed and will fade.  You won’t want to bring any of them back to the states after wearing them all the time while away.  Don’t be too picky when it comes to clothes.

*m-LONG SLEEVED SHIRTS- some people live in the cold mountains, I live in almost a desert that is super dry and hot.  People in the village get by somehow, see what they are wearing and you’ll most likely be able to find something that works in the village. 

*n- JEANS/PANTS/CAPRIS/SHORTS/SKIRTS DRESSES- Jeans may only be appropriate in the capitol.  Deep villages don’t respect women who don’t respect their conservative culture and won’t listen as well to someone who isn’t wearing a skirt or is showing too much skin.

Pants for work may only be appropriate at some places but are worth bringing. 

Capris/Shorts shouldn’t show the knee at all.  The knees, inner thighs, are seen as super sexual and should be covered at all times.  Even when playing sports, try wearing guys shorts or something longer.  You’ll get attention no matter what but if you are able to lessen the amount, do it.

Skirts should be knee length or longer.  Knee length may be seen as only for little girls in the village but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear them in the dreaded heat.  Cool thing about skirts is that they are easier for tailors to make.  .  People will notice the effort and say you look “smart”.

Dresses can be worn at work or out and about.  A cute dress for the city is nice to have.  Even if something doesn’t reach the knees, leggings can cover up skin.  I wish I hadn’t been so concerned about length and sleeves when I was shopping before leaving.

*o-PAJAMA BOTTOMS- It gets cold, so long ones are handy, the knee length are a safe length to wear around the house when my door is open and people may see me, shorts are great when its 90 degrees at night.

*p- BANDANAS- roads are dusty and dirty and being able to cover the hair will keep it from turning red.  Also handy when you need to scrub the extra “tan” from your cheeks.

*q- RAIN GEAR- Some people bring North Face jackets where as I’ve only ever used a cheap umbrella that I bought here.  I can buy a nice jacket for 10 bucks in the market.  People at my organization don’t walk in the rain so we use it as an excuse to stay inside and drink tea.

*r- SHOES- I seriously wear Chaco’s all the time.  They said “dress shoes”, but I took that as not wearing flip flops.  I bought dressy Keens but have only worn then twice.  I don’t like shoes.  The big market in Kampala is like a giant Goodwill where you can find more shoes if you need them.  Some people have found it handy to bring hiking boots since they live in rainy mountains.  I travel with Chaco’s and a pair of flip flops since shoes take up space.  I bought heels for when we have a girls night in the city and dressing up that way is fun every now and then.

*s- BATHROOM- People have been living in that country for thousands of years.  Large cities and towns have a variety of items that can stock any bathroom.  It’s a matter of preference.

Items that can be easily found in bigger towns- shampoo/conditioner, lotion, q-tips, shaving gel, cotton balls, soap.

 Items that I’ve had a hard time finding include- Loofa, organic face wash/toner/moisturizer, deodorant I really like.

*t- ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH- I love my electric toothbrush.  Yes, I had to bring extra batteries and replacements but its worth it.  There is nothing like a good clean mouth.  Replacements are easy for family to send and batteries can be found in any village.  Batteries from home last longer but are heavy.  Still, I suggest everyone have one of these.

*u- NAIL POLISH- Yes, you can find it here but do you have that color you always love to wear?  I brought a few and people were jealous.  Toes can go bare but spending ten minutes to make them cute so you can’t see the dirt makes you feel cleaner somehow.  I brought a foot scrubber for rough patches.  Even bringing a small pedicure thing would be kinda cool for lazy Saturday afternoons.  Key is to take care of yourself.

*v-DIVA CUP- Seriously, one of the handiest and greatest items.  Tampons are expensive if you can find them and there’s no applicator.  Rather than asking family to send tampons with every package for two years, one small Diva Cup will solve all those needs.  I had mine mailed to India while there.  Hard to get used to at first but more reliable and easy to travel with.  Intrigued?  Google it and purchase one today. (http://lunapads.com/divacup.html)

*w- BOBBY PINS- I went a little overboard with buying a whole box from Sally May but I’ll leave the extras in the volunteer free box and make someone’s day.  Bobby pins are one of the easiest ways to make your hair cute without too much effort.  Having been a beautician, doing a little extra with the hair can turn a bad boring day into at least a cute hair day.  Also, I use them as bag clips.  Multi purpose.

*x- MIRROR- Latrines don’t have sinks or mirrors.  I have a small under $10USD two sided mirror from Walmart that is an essential.  Even for guys, a mirror for shaving is something they usually forget.  Sure you could go two years without looking in a mirror but I wouldn’t advise it.

*y- MAKE-UP- There are days when you want to look cute or when you have an important meeting.  Swearing in ceremonies and in service trainings where the group is back together.  Nothing wrong with putting 5 minutes into making your eyes pop.  What’s annoying is when girls take 45 minutes to apply 5 million layers of stuff to their face.  Keep it simple with basics.

*z-JEWELRY- I brought too much.  I have all these cute earrings and bracelets that are still sitting in their container.  I wear one pair that I brought with me and others that I bought here.  I lost the right earring of a pair I got in Nepal which was really sad.  Wearing a ring where normally a wedding band would be is handy when random guys say they want to marry you. 

*A- OFFICE-  I brought a small pencil box full of pens, colorful sharpies, note cards (which we had to have made during training for language), and really small basic items that I wouldn’t know the quality once in country.  The small notebook was great for revising my language notes.  A small calendar the size of a checkbook has been awesome to keep track of what I do each day and to plan ahead.  Keep it with me at all times.

B- Cards can be bought in country.  I had some with Alaska on the back so I brought them.  I now have a travel Apples to Apples and will hopefully be able to use it with students and my neighbors.  Pretty excited about that actually.

*C-BOOKS- I’ve learned to love reading even more since being here.  I brought books that would be good to share and have enjoyed the books others brought.  At the volunteer lounge, there is a “library” but I mainly hear what another volunteer is reading and then ask them if I can read if after them.  I like getting books from home as well.  Lonely Planet East Africa was great to have when I travelled down to Rwanda and to see what is in Uganda.

*D- MISC- My flashlight broke.  They have flashlights that you charge by outlet that work. Quality headlamps are better.  I have a small solar lamp that is great for reading but is also bright enough for when the power is out and I want to cook.

Sleeping Bag/Pad- I have a small 55+ that doesn’t take much space and easier to travel.  I also have a travel liner/sheet which is what I usually take.  If visiting a friend, they normally have extra blankets and pillows.

Umbrella- I almost spent 40 bucks on one at REI but then chose not to.  My 3 dollar one from here works.  It’s not as cool to show off or talk about but that’s okay.

Luggage Locks- I haven’t used them and haven’t had anything stolen, thankfully.  Other people use them and then their bags have gotten slashed while walking having everything dumped out of the bottom.  I should really use them more often…

Sheets/Pillowcases- I love my jersey material sheets.  You can buy them in country, but I’m glad I didn’t.  Nothing fancy, but workable.

Jump Rope- easy to do in my house.  I waited and bought one here with a counter for 5 bucks.

*E- KITCHEN- everything I brought fit in a 1 gallon Ziploc bag.  I can find everything at the nice stores, but it was fun to pick them out in the states in one place.  A good veg peeler, a sharp knife, plastic utensil holder when cooking, measuring items, and French Press have been items I use frequently.  If you enjoy Coffee and don’t have electricity, a French press is essential.  I bought a small one from Starbucks and even though it is glass and plastic, keeping it in the box while traveling kept it from breaking.

*F-FOOD-  I didn’t bring much with me when I left for training.  Since I lived in a homestay for 10 weeks, I wouldn’t be cooking for myself.  There are so many powder sauce packets with different flavors that are easy to make in the village.  I brought back with me this time around powder soup mixes and Cheddar Broccoli soup which can also be used to make a cheese sauce, flavored powder potatoes since I had room, popcorn flavoring because I could, snack size cookies, peanut butter m&ms for my site mate and I to share, beef jerky… the funny thing is that I enjoy the local food and could eat it every meal.  When I cook at home, it’s easier for me to make noodles rather than rice, posho, or sweet potatoes.  I didn’t bring back any candy other than the M&Ms.  I have a lot of hard candies for my hut boys and students sitting in Tupperware in my kitchen area.  My parents send me awesome smoked salmon or tuna things in these one serving bags and then little packets of mayo which is a great change in diet.  Honey Nut Peanuts are tasty.

Other items that are great-

-simple house slippers

-coloring books to do with kids

-quality soccer ball and pump

The personal cost of doing good- Maureen Littlejohn

This is a rather interesting article about the affects of rather intense situations on volunteers/aid workers .  Granted, I am not in the forefront of conflict and I don’t have to worry about LRA attacks at this time, but it makes me think about the people I’ve met that are in the midst of the storms.  The article talks about a safari lodge in Northern Uganda which is about 3 hours of a drive I think from where I live.  Since Peace Corps is concerned about our safety, we are not allowed to drive there.  If we fly avoiding the roads that cattle herders have taken out vehicles on, they’ll think about letting us go but keeping us alive is more important than a sweet safari.

Anyways, words in bold are ones that either bring about “so is life” and agree or make me think.  Thanks to Terry who posted this on facebook.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Humanitarian work is not a job, it’s a calling. Nothing is going to stop someone who feels that pull” — Chris Gillanders

Driving along Ambush Alley, a 120-kilometre dirt track that runs between northern Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, Chris Gillanders knew not to stop for anything.

It was a lesson the Toronto-based aid worker had learned from experience. That day, he was lucky: The most dangerous stretch of road in the world was free from attacks by the Lord’s Resistance Army.

Gillanders was employed by the United Nations World Food Program. His unit, based in northern Uganda, was responsible for delivering 10,000 tons of food aid per month into South Sudan. It was perilous work. Being taken hostage and negotiating his team’s release from rebel groups was a frequent occurrence.

Ambush Alley was the only way to reach a safari lodge in northern Uganda, where aid workers would meet for a little R&R. Although it was generally considered safe at the time, the rebel activity in the surrounding countryside scared off less intrepid travellers and the aid workers often had the lodge to themselves.

“We didn’t think anything about it,” Gillanders said. “The war zone was our normal place of work. When a UN psychologist came and did an evaluation on us, she said our levels of stress were right off the charts, the same as soldiers in a combat zone. The risks we took were beyond abnormal.”

Trust in a Post Conflict Area

A little idea of what I’ve been working on lately…

Definition of Trust- Firm confidence on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

1. Where trust is derived from—The basis to trust or distrust a complete stranger is social conditioning, which may be influenced by ethnic or cultural group, the characteristics and values of the society in which one lives or grew up, past experiences, and the historical tradition of the country. 
2. Individual level—Theories have been advanced which suggests that traits such as optimism, life satisfaction, social status, and anxiety influence how trusting a person is of others. Other scholars feel that trust is less at the whim of the individual and more determined by circumstances beyond his or her control, such as association membership, networks of friends, community safety, and incidence of social conflicts.  Likewise, efforts to make a country more trusting in the midst of a divisive civil war or ethnic conflict are unlikely to meet success.
3.  Post-Conflict Areas— During a traumatic experience, optimism can turn to pessimism and viewing life in a negative manner after living through horrific acts of violence and not knowing if tomorrow would come.  Life satisfaction is low and people are generally in survival mode concentrating on physiological and safety on the hierarchy of needs.  Previous social status can be irrelevant as outside sources are brought in to control and those who are in authority may abuse their power against others.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which involves increased anxiety raises lack of confidence in others, ability to function normally, increases paranoia, and heightens distrust among societies and individuals.

Aid groups fear central Africa LRA ‘Christmas massacre’

Aid groups have called for efforts to prevent mass killings by one of Africa’s most feared rebel militias over the Christmas period.

The aid agencies say a concerted effort is needed to stop the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) from committing what have become known as “Christmas massacres”.

LRA fighters killed hundreds of people in the Democratic Republic of Congo and Sudan in December 2008 and 2009.

Hundreds of people were abducted during those attacks.

Figures show that the LRA over the past two years has become the most deadly militia in the DRC, the aid groups say in a report.

On Christmas Day 2008 and over the following three weeks, LRA beat to death more than 800 people in north-eastern DR Congo and Southern Sudan, abducting hundreds more.

In December 2009, the brutal militia killed more than 300 villagers in DR Congo in the run-up to Christmas.

An LRA spokesman denied that his organisation was responsible for the atrocities.

The rebels – originally from Uganda and also roaming across parts of Sudan and the Central African Republic (CAR) – killed or abducted more than 1,000 people in remote areas of DR Congo last year alone, the report says.

“The LRA abducts, mutilates, rapes and kills women, men and children, using extreme violence against the most vulnerable,” the report adds.

The militia is also notorious for kidnapping children to save as soldiers and sex slaves.

“It is unbelievable that world leaders continue to tolerate brutal violence against some of the most isolated villages in central Africa and that this has been allowed to continue for more than 20 years,” said Marcel Stoessel from Oxfam, one of the 19 organisations behind the report.

US President Barack Obama in November outlined a plan to remove the LRA’s leader, Joseph Kony, and disarm the LRA. Mr Kony is wanted by the International Criminal Court (ICC).

Mr Obama was responding to US legislation passed in May promising a comprehensive strategy to put a stop to the LRA’s killings, rapes and mutilations.

But the new report says more humanitarian aid and a more concerted military effort is needed to stop the rebels from committing more atrocities.

“Recent signs of diplomatic commitment from the African Union and the United States must provide tangible answers that protect the population from violence,” the agencies say.

The report also calls on the UN Security Council to put the rebel group on its agenda.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-11987543