While sitting on my knees while rubbing lotion onto the feet of a woman, I began to think about my past and how it has shaped who I am and what I am doing in the present. We will be volunteering at different houses Mother Teresa started and with each, I can see how my random experiences will be helpful with each one. I looked into the eyes of this woman who only hummed, who previously was sitting on the bench with her knees to her chest, and how the human touch must feel to her. I started with her hands, but then moved to her feet, then a scalp massage, and really felt that instead of just moving on to the next person that I would rather sit and be beside her. Sitting beside this lady was exactly where I needed to be.
God uses the experiences of our past to help shape our future. I believe in my essays for WMF that I even said that my life of shattered pieces is becoming the most beautiful mosiac that I could ever desire. I’m beginning to understand how everything in the past has lead up to this point and how to use all my random skills in useful ways. What was a horrible experience, tough challenge, great learning opportunity, and simple joy of the past are all working together now to create a beautiful experience 🙂
I used to get paid to give massages while working in the salon but hated the cattiness of people so I stopped. Now, I sit in front of a mute woman and give her human touch. I was involved with children’s church and Child Evangelism Fellowship where I would go the bush of Alaska and teach kids songs, play with them, and be an example of God’s love, and now I see many children begging on the streets and my heart breaks for them. Hopefully, I will be able to volunteer at a school for slum children. Working with the mentally handicapped has been tough and at times violent, but because I’ve worked with people who have autism and other disabilities I kinda know the psychology and how to meet the physical needs of those in need. I loved my time with Nesting Doves and my heart goes out to the young women here in the sex industry. I listened to the girls stories in Kokomo and am looking forward to hearing the stories of the women here.
I have felt major rejection in the past, have had to be tough in certain situations, have had my lows, and have been given a lot of crap by many people, but instead of wanting others to feel pity for me or to say they are sorry I tell them to be grateful for it has made me wiser and more understanding of others. I appreciate what I have and those who are close for I have been without and have been alone. My God has kept me safe and has brought me through it all and I trust even more for it.
The next four months will be tough, but I know that God will take care of me and the others here. There is great beauty here in Kolkata such as the smiles on people’s faces, the gorgeous outfits the women wear, the number of volunteers from every part of the world that are here to serve with Missionaries of Charity. Driving to the flat the very first night and seeing hundreds of people line the walls of buildings as they slept was tough. The amount of beggars and seeing some deformities was tough. Seeing so much need and knowing I can’t fix is tough. What can you do? I can only trust God that he will show me my place in it all. Yesterday, sitting on my knees and looking into the eyes of that woman was exactly the place I needed to be.